These are businessmen and politicos, guest-listed as among the city’s finest and because they are and they know that they are they behave as they’ve always behaved when invited to high-end events such as this one: tastelessly, as befits their lot. They should be pleased they’ve been invited, but they are neither pleased nor thankful. They insist they are there not because they deserve to be there (that’s undeniable), but because—this they know without fear of contradiction—without their presence, the event would be woefully one-dimensional, unrefined, and quite possibly, snubbed by the media. Their wives are there as buffer; charm doodads for their egos.
“I understand,” says one man to another, “that this O’Donnell person is the general manager here instead of some other city because she refused to put out for the boss.” Among subcultured twits, each of us pretentiously swirling wine, I giggle—as guilty and as imbecilic as the rest—embarrassed by the impropriety of it all. Funny, no? It is the beginning of a string of smut unraveled from bawls of whine that seemingly have no end.
Later on—a month or so later—I’m at dinner with Cheryl O’Donnell, the first woman general manager of the Ritz-Carlton company, and some of her friends. A gentleman who recognizes someone in the group stops by to say, “Hello.” Introductions follow all around. “Oh,” says he, once O’Donnell is introduced, “you’re that Ritz girl.”
OK, folks, O’Donnell is—you bet—that Ritz girl. She is also the Ritz lady, the Ritz woman, the Ritz person, the Ritz general manager, the Ritz boss. She will tell you, quite openly, that while she behaves like a woman, she thinks like a man. Because she must. She has never, ever in her 12 years with Ritz been the victim of bigotry, of sexism. And yet, and yet: she understands completely the persuasive pathology that regulates business relationships; and she has learned how to cope with it. Not only to cope, but to deal with it.
It is not easy. In fact, given the ideological proclamations voiced by every feminist from Abigail Adams to Betty Friedan to Gloria Steinem, the strategies that Cheryl O’Donnell must deploy in order to be taken seriously might be considered tragic were she not so consumed by her awareness of exactly what the hell she is up against: a male-dominated universe conspicuously apparent throughout the hotel industry.
“Given my position,” she says, “there is much more pressure to perform: I realize that I am, in spite of everything, in the minority.”
The pressure comes in matching (or striving to match) standards of management excellence set exclusively by men, capsulized thus: “Let’s see if O’Donnell is man enough for the job.” These are the standards against which O’Donnell’s performance is judged. It is possible—in fact, it is highly likely—for O’Donnell to deviate from those standards, to supersede them, but it is far riskier for her than it is for a man. If she fails, it is because she is a woman, regardless of the prevailing conditions. But wait, these same conditions are of consequence whenever a man fails. Like so:
“Why don’t we look at the prevailing conditions that affected Bob’s performance? Did he act stupidly, perform unwisely? Maybe we didn’t give him enough support to get the job done right.” It is never, “Bob failed because he is a man.”
According to O’Donnell, “There’s a greater amount of focus placed on women by their peers: by people you work for, who work for you—a different level of expectation of a female. If a woman can survive in a man’s world—and that clearly is what we’re in—she is looked upon as being a better business person.”
O’Donnell is different. Every morning when she dresses for work, she knows that.
“Absolutely: you don’t surrender your gender. There is no reason a woman has to wear a skirt midcalf because she’s a businesswoman. I don’t see a problem with a good-looking woman looking good-looking. It certainly helps when you walk into a room filled with a bunch of men and you look and feel great; and when you open your mouth you sound great.”
And what comes out is great? They listen because she is the manager and she knows how to manage and they will learn something that will make them manage better what it is they are asked to manage.
“If I find out someone can’t work for me because I’m a woman, the only solution is that that person—man or woman—can’t work for me anymore.” She has no problem discussing points of view based on rational thought. In fact, she admits, she has as much to learn from employees as they from her. It is when argument flows from intolerance that she blocks it. “It’s a cancer, a disloyalty, and I’ve got to cut it out.”
I’m in the hotel elevator with O’Donnell; with her is a new hire. A man gets on. He asks, “So, where do you girls work?” The new hire says she’s just been hired to work at the Ritz. The man turns to O’Donnell and asks, “Do you work here?” O’Donnell says, “Yes, sir, I do.” He says, “Let me guess: concierge, front desk, the restaurant?” O’Donnell says, “Neither, I run the hotel.” He asks, “What hotel?” She says, “This hotel.” And he asks, “What part?” O’Donnell says, “I run all parts.” He says, “You’re kidding: you’re the one in charge?”
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